There are days when I think it (my life) would be easier to give up on the thing that has me in knots. It could be anything: a side project, a client, a marriage, an illness, a family member, a house, a colleague, or even a situation. But don’t we all feel like this sometimes.
I realized the other day that the only reason I want OUT is because it is hard, but for me that is not a good reason for leaving.
I think “WHY did I wait so long to get my stuff on iTunes, if I had put it up in 2012 when I started maybe I would be helping more people, getting the word out about emerging designers etc.” I start beating myself up.
I am not a martyr, I want success just like everyone else. But I find success in building others up. When I started Design Recharge I had been given a piece of advice from a podcaster, Srini Rao of the Unmistakable Creative podcast. He said to commit to doing the thing (for me the podcast) for five years. I thought whoa that is a long time.
If I am anything I am loyal. I think. I stay even when it gets hard. I stay when other people say it is ok to stop or leave. I stay because I made a commitment. One of my aunts asked me a few years ago about the podcast and I was telling her about it and about the five-year commitment. She asked who made me commit to five years, I said, “I did.”
Is it really that shocking in today’s society to make a commitment and stick to it? I guess so. I see a lot of people start. I heard Chris Brogan say one time it was about staying in the race. Simply just staying in it. I have had days where I have held onto that promise. Sometimes it is just committing to one more week. Then God will send a message through a friend (someone I met through the show) via twitter or an email. These conversations make me stronger. They really do mean a lot to me.
Someone reaching out, or someone thanking me for doing the show. It fuels me.
Today in my devotional (Rick Warren’s Daily Devotional for the YouVersion app) was about Noah and giving up. Lord knows he had it rough. Everyone making fun of him, no sign of threat, no sign of a flood. 120 years Noah and his family worked on the ark. 120 years. Can you imagine all the times he wanted to give up?
There is a lot of faith needed and trust that God is leading you because He put that dream on your heart.
I do feel like God called me to teach, and I feel like He called me to Design Recharge. I am not giving up. But I was thinking literally we should give up. Give it up, that struggle, that client, that situation that has you in knots. But not give up like walk away, but literally give it up to God. Throw my hands in the air and let someone else take it from here. Not walk away, but give up the reigns.
I am an imperfect being and I need God. I need someone to hear me when I cry out with my struggles and He does, He is with me always. Right now, I am in a valley but I know the summit will come. I also know there will be more valleys on my journey. And He will be there too.
I feel like I have an uphill battle and I am not sure how I am capable of doing all God is calling me to do all at the same time. But one call is not lessened so I must keep trying. I have to be persistent and keep my heart and mind focused on the dream and trust that God will reveal the goal in His timing, not mine. Very frustrating but I know I am not alone.
So what do I want out of Design Recharge and Recharging You? I have asked myself that many times. I wanted to build a community and a platform that can offer courses to creatives that will help all of us be better at all aspects of our business. I have accomplished that. The ground work is there.
Now, I want to offer classes that will range from tips, products, and how to’s to business skills and personal skills that will help you to grow your business or be better at your job and help you move up or move on. These classes will be taught by more than just me. They will be supporting the people teaching the classes financially (and the platform).
But I am scared. I have built it and now I am scared to put the animals in the ark. (Maybe too much honesty today?)
And this is the part of the dream that I have not realized. I am the brakes and am not trusting that I can do all that is on my plate.
So I will give up, but give it up to God. This is where I am like an addict. It is something I want to take back and something I have to fight the urge to take back control, it is day by day, sometimes I can hand it over only an hour at a time. But I am going to give up to Him.
I will let you know how it goes.
The series I am working on is called the Igniter Series. Please keep me and this project in your prayers.